At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
