dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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