a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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