at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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