But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
