its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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