Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
What a dumb baby whore.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
