Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
