why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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