I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
