The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
