conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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