Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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