Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
