Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Mom said you looked used
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
