you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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