Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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