That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
