I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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