I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
