Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I've blown a few things in my day
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
