I think scott just propositioned me for sex
do herpes really smell.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize