I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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