And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
