she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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