They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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