I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
