Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
and you fell through a lawn chair
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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