I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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