She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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