Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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