you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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