I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
