There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
