well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
