There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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