My underwear smells like fireworks.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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