So drunk, too bad you don't want this
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize