so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
