She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize