he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize