I heard we made out
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize