Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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