Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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