so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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