I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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