The brown eye won't let me do that either.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
