Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize