Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Drake has all the answers
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize