if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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