no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
