I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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