winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
