Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
