Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
