your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Randomize
