You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
