I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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