Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
