I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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