i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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