The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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