so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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