so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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