please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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