Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
