We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
